A friend sent me the following piece via email.
A TRIP TO COSTCO
Yesterday I was at my
local COSTCO buying a large bag of Purina dog chow for my loyal pet, Biscuit, the Wonder Dog and was in the checkout line when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog.
What did she think I had, an elephant? So since I'm retired and have little to do, on impulse I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, I was starting the Purina Diet again. I added that I probably shouldn't,
because I ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.
I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that
it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so it works well and I was going to try it again. (I have to mention here that
practically everyone in line was now enthralled with my story.) Horrified, she asked if I ended
up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned me. I told her
no, I stepped off a curb to sniff an Irish Setter's butt
and a car hit us both.
I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack
he was laughing so hard.
Costco won't let me shop there anymore.
Better watch what you ask
retired people. They have all the time in the world to think of crazy things to say.
When I was at Sam's yesterday a woman at the next checkout counter had a basket of dog food Milk Bones etc. and I nearly choked trying not to laugh out loud.
BUT why don't they make a Chow for humans? Why does so called diet food always have to be sweet? Savory is my taste of choice and I'd like a nice meat, veggie or cheese tasting food bar to use for some meals.